"What NOT to give your wife for Christmas"

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A friend sent me the following little ditty in an email. I think the last line makes it clear what NOT to give your wife for Christmas.

"Whatever you give to a woman, she will make greater.

If you give to her sperm, she'll give you to a baby.

If you give to her a house, she'll give to you a home. 

If you give to her groceries, she'll give to you a meal. 

If you give to her a smile, she'll give to you her heart.

A woman multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

 ...So, if you give her any c*r*a*p, be prepared to receive a ton of s*h*i*t."


Anyway, my problem is I'm not sure what I should give my wife for Christmas. Something tells me if I pull a leather stress ball or glow-in-the-dark keychain out of my bag of free trade show giveaways that I've collected over the years at the many trade shows I've attended, that won't cut it. So much for reduce, reuse, and recycle (or re-gifting), at least when it comes to trade show giveaways. I've heard "it's the thought that counts" but something tells me I need something more substantial than that. Oh well, at least I still have two weeks to go...

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unrelated and unverified information about orange, red, and other colors of baby buggies
orange baby buggies ~ red baby buggies ~ baby buggies

If you're looking for a stone toddler chair instead of a baby buggy, you may find a stone toddler chair here.

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