"random thoughts"

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In my experience, 90% of forward "this is really funny" chain emails aren't that funny. But occasionally I'll get an email forwarded to me that really is. Recently I got an email called "random thoughts". Not all of the random thoughts were funny, but most were. Here's fifteen of them...

1. More often than not, when somebody is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell them my own story that's not only better than their story, but also involves me.

2. I don't understand why people say, "I don't need to drink to have fun." OK, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

3. I take back all the times I said I didn't want to nap when I was younger..

4. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

6. LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

7. Was learning cursive really necessary?

8. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

9. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

10. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

11. My brother's League baseball team is called the "Step Dads". But none of the guys on the team are actual step-dads, so I asked him about the name. He explained, "Because we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

12.  What would happen if a person hired two private investigators to follow each other?

13. Bad decisions make good stories.

14. Anything can be fixed if you have a big enough roll of duct tape.

15. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

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