lawyer jokes - Trade Show Marketing Advice

lawyer jokes

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I have nothing against lawyers, but there's a good reason that these jokes are FUNNY!

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a really great lawyer?

A good lawyer knows the law. A really great lawyer knows the judge.

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made the lawyer an offer. "I can help you, " the devil said. "Here are the five things I'll do for you. One, I'll triple your income. Two, I'll make your partners will love you. Three, I'll make your clients respect you. Four, you'll have three months of vacation each year. And finally, five, you will live to be a hundred. Now, all I require in return is this... your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls will all rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so- called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, runs into a butcher shop and steals a steak.. The butcher follows the dog back to the lawyer's office and realizes the dog belongs to the lawyer. The butcher asks the lawyer, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my shop, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely."

"Then you owe me $10. Your dog was loose and stole a steak from me today."

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $10. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.

Three days later, the butcher gets a bill in the mail from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.

[ enjoy more unrelated jokes and humor from the jokesters at Trade Show Marketing Advice ]

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Regardless of whether or not you or anyone you know is a lawyer, we hope you found our lawyer jokes to be funny. Here at tradeshowmarketingadvice.org, we enjoy having a good chuckle every now and then. But we also realize that while jokes are meant to be funny, tradeshow marketing success is no laughing matter. We always take tradeshow marketing seriously, and we believe you should also. If you are planning to do any trade shows in the near future, we hope that you will study and learn from our tradeshow display ideas, tradeshow booth ideas, and tradeshow giveaway ideas. Our unrelated humor section is supposed to make you laugh, but our tradeshow marketing advice is dead serious!