"Economic Stimulus II ?"

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Apparently it's the one year anniversary of the approximately 872 trillion dollar Federal Economic Stimulus package that some politicians are claiming "saved" two million plus jobs and prevented us from having another Great Depression. I'm not sure I believe that, and I wonder how it's going to be paid for... but I guess that's a problem for the future, eh?

Apparently there's also talk of an economic stimulus sequel... which reminds me of the following email I got a while ago.

***

Some time this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program I'll explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the Federal Government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the Federal Government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the Federal Government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a little bit of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help stimulate the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend your stimulus check at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.

* If you spend your stimulus check on gasoline, the money will go to the Middle East.

* If you spend your stimulus check on a computer, the money will go to India.

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, the money will go to Mexico or some country in Central America.

* If you buy a car, the money will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, the money will go to China.

* If you pay off your credit card debt, the money will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the economic stimulus money in America by:

1. Spending it at garage sales, or
2. Going to ball games, or
3. Spending it on prostitutes, or
4. Spending it on beer, or
5. Getting a tattoo.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US.)

Conclusion:
To make it easy, just go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute who you met at a garage sale and drink beer all day.

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